Thursday, August 23, 2007

#4-5 Questions Adoptive parents hear...

These are specific questions that Daddio and I have been asked... but I've heard variations from others with similar family structures!

4. Q: Where did you get them?
A1: Um, what? Like what store… are you kidding me?
A2: All three were born in Texas.
A3: (if I have time, and am feeling generous with it) We chose to use an adoption agency that works with the state in placing children that are currently in the foster care system.

5. Q: What are they?
A1: Turns out that the blood work came back 'children', 'boys' to be specific... but I have my doubts. Science isn't perfect, and the lab tech looked shifty.
A2: They happen to be bi-racial.

Again, nothing is particularly cruel with these questions, just that generally if the adoptive parents wants to tell you they will, and you don't need to ask. Also, most (99%) come from the grocery checker, store clerk, or random person I'm passing with the brood and I don't know them... and in turn they don't know me.

We've met people out and about with children that appear to be adopted, or maybe in foster care... and generally you can tell by the mom's (or if both parents are there) demeanor if she has time to talk. My only comment is "beautiful child(ren)". Trust me, the mom will usually reply in two ways (generally): "thank you", and if she is feeling especially generous "thanks, we are so blessed to have them... we adopted.... blah blah blah".

The moral of the story, if an adoptive parent wants to talk about it they will... you don't need to try and play 20 questions.

3 comments:

Bob said...

We would rather people ask than just stare!

Michelle said...

Question number five is the one we've gotten the most. Another one was "what nationality are they" when they knew we had adopted the kids from foster care. My answer: "They're American!"

MommaLlama said...

We get that a lot as well, Michelle. Ours our Texan!!! And the people usually ask again as if I didn't understand the question the first time :-).