The last First...

As we headed off to Mass yesterday afternoon I looked back at the banner and thought of all the Masses our sweet Snooker waited for us to return to the pew, and how now our family was going to be complete in the Eucharistic celebration!
Fr. D was the celebrant for the Mass, what a treat! We just love him, he is truly an amazing priest and man! (Doesn't Snooker look snazzy in his little suit?!)
We couldn't be more proud of our little Snooker... man, he is growing up so fast (and tall too)!

Climbing out on a limb

We set out on a journey 6 1/2 years ago. It wasn't something we took lightly, on the contrary... we prayed, talked, agonized, poured through pamphlets, websites... we so desperately wanted to be parents, we felt the Lord calling us to this life! As an infertile couple, the road to parenthood wasn't a typical story. Our loving embrace along with the Creator did not bring forth our children. Yes, the Creator was there... but we weren't there in that moment (three times over).

This is something that my brain has been trying to comprehend for a while now... history, my family, my ethnicity... their history, family, and ethnicity... and that those are not completely shared like 'normal families'. How do we make it all work?

One thing that our adoption agency really wanted to make sure we did when choosing to adopt trans-racially was to make sure we exposed our children to their full ethnicity... Many ideas where thrown about as to how to do this: living in a diverse community, attending a more heavily African American church/school/barber shop... and so on. All great ideas, on paper, as the saying goes! We already had a home, so moving really wasn't a viable option (although I would have to say that our street is pretty diverse just by happen stance), we attend the church that is in our parish, and I cut the boys hair at home (the cost of getting three sets of hair cuts every 4 weeks... you do the math!). Plus the boys were so young, and bi-racial, that up until recently we really didn't feel the need to do more than what we have. We have friends of varying races, it's just that the adults aren't black (one of the adoption groups is a trans-racial group, so they are around other kids who look like them and are adopted... double points, right?).

Well... that brings us to now... 6 1/2 years into this journey of raising our sons with a rooted identity, and an understanding as to where they came from! We knew the time would come when it would be important to investigate a community that was more African American... to surround them with children and adults who shared that part of their duel race. Daddio and I, over the years, had put together some thoughts... ideas... but it wasn't until the last few weeks that my mother's heart said it was time. I had already started noticing signs that one of our boys had become increasingly sensitive about himself... it was time to climb out on to the newest branch of the tree we planted so many years ago!

Many years ago we saw a show, I think it was called Divine Renovation (or something), where they went into a church in our diocese and re-did the baptismal font. It just so happened that it was a predominantly African American parish (trust me the Holy Spirit knows what he's doing!). Over the years when Daddio and I've discussed where we might go, this church would come up. Then a few weeks (months maybe even) our diocese newspaper had an article about the Bishop saying mass at that particular parish in honor of their anniversary... again Daddio and I made a mental note!

Two weeks ago at dinner, I brought up my concerns to Daddio about our son... and we decided that it was time to take the next step in the journey. We were out of town the following weekend, but agreed that within the next few weeks we should make good on the conversation and attend this church.

Sunday morning, when I'm in an allergy fog, Daddio tells me that we needed to get moving in order to attend the 10am Mass at Our Mother of Mercy... WHAT? I hadn't had time to prepare, psych myself up, freak out, panic, calm down... all the things I need to go through before I do ANYTHING NEW! In all honesty, the element of surprise generally is better for me than anything else because of the aforementioned litany!

It was a fairly quiet car ride (20 miles from our home). I was nervous! I realize that might sound silly to some, but I was worried how we might be perceived. Would we be welcomed? Would the stares be too much... I mean we are used to staring, but there is staring, and then there is STARING! How much would Daddio and I stand out? How would the boys react to what we might see and hear? Would the Mass be familiar or uncomfortable? Would the priest be approachable?

As we drove into the parking lot, one of the boys immediately noticed the Mary and Jesus statue that were black. "They look like us, and not you, " I believe was the statement (or there about). There was definitely a twinkle in their eyes as we approached the front doors. A few people were chatting out in front, and eagerly offered a handshake and a welcome. Once inside several people introduced themselves and an overwhelming since of love and familial connection enveloped us. Alright... things were going well so far! We had about 5 minutes till Mass was to start, so the five of us sat down and took in the cute little church. Our parish is huge... no HUGE!!!! This was tiny in comparison, but it was really nice. Recently renovated, it had old charm... but new pews and the most comfortable kneelers (and having a really painful knee, it was much appreciated).

What we didn't know about this particular Mass was that it was, for lack of a better term, the Gospel Mass... and that it would last 2 1/2 hours... I would have worn much more sensible shoes had I known that!!!! It was a LOT to take in for the first time. I should note here that both Daddio and I spent most of our childhood attending a rather charismatic Catholic Church, but OMM was much more... and the boys had never been to a Mass that resembled anything like this... many times I looked down at them and there was a since of overload/overwhelmed staring back at me from their eyes. Well, all but Snooker... he was in his element apparently! At one point during the homily the priest walked over and point blank asked him "who are our enemies", his reply "friends who become our enemy"... which turns out to be the TRUTH... check Sirach 6: 5-10... that was exactly what the priest was looking for (by the way, I've always known that Snooker was special... I just didn't know he could quote scripture so well!). And while our sweet Snooker can't clap on beat to save his life, that certainly didn't stop him from trying with every song that was played (and there were many).

After Mass, we headed out for lunch... and had time to digest the morning. So here are some conclusions we made and are continuing to glean from this experience:

It was a positive experience. Everyone was more than welcoming. Bobcat even said that is was almost like they already knew us... referring to the boys in particular as "little brother". With it begin such a small parish, there is a real opportunity to actually get to know people. Although the charismatic nature is not my all time favorite, I never felt out of place not having my hands held high or not knowing the words to all of the songs. While Daddio and I are white, that seemed to be the only real difference...

And the overwhelming conclusion... we want to be a part of this parish. We think it will be a great opportunity for our boys especially... but there is so much there for Daddio and me, too! Application wise, we will probably split our time between our home parish and OMM, but will look for opportunities be involved that go beyond Sunday Mass.

As parents, we will do whatever we need to for our children. We felt the Lord calling us out, calling for us to stretch ourselves for their sake... I knew He would catch us, should we fall... thankfully all we needed was a steady hand as we stepped out.

A link or two:

Why I Love My Ugly Little Liturgy

In A Word

Be Proud

First... Happy Birthday 83rd B16!!!

Here's an interesting article: Be Proud to be Catholic

Finding the blessing in our struggles

I recently came across a four part series by Dr. Jameson and Jennifer Taylor on infertility thanks to another website I was reading. While the first 3 parts were mostly known to me because of our long struggle with infertility, the fourth part really allowed me to once again accept my infertility in a more faithful light.

I highly encourage everyone to read this... be it that you are struggling with infertility or if you know someone who is (it will help you see the internal struggle they are fighting).

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Additional Article

Here are a few quotes that really struck me and I thought were worth sharing:

Instead of giving children to God, infertile families can give their suffering to Him, their unfulfilled longing to conceive a baby. God will use this suffering to glorify His name and bring about the salvation of souls (cf. Jn. 9:1-3). Likewise, infertility is the gift God gives couples for the salvation of their own souls, as well as the souls of any children they might eventually adopt. To reject this gift is to reject the specific means by which God wills to lead us to Heaven.

Of course, this is not to say that infertile couples shouldn't use every licit means they can to conceive a child or bring a baby to term. We also do not mean to imply that every infertile couple is called to adopt. Adoption is not a "cure" for infertility because even after you adopt you remain infertile. Each of us, however, is called to "give everything to God," and to serve Him, even in the weakness of infertility.

Part of the pain of infertility, however, is that it is an invisible sign. In our culture, most people assume that if you don't have kids you're contracepting. If you're infertile, they suppose you can easily correct the problem through artificial means. The physical and spiritual suffering caused by infertility is usually hidden. To use an analogy, the generosity of the couple who chooses to have a large family is like a brightly burning sun whose beams produce beautiful flowers that everyone can see and admire. While their love might shine just as brightly, the infertile family has no flowers of its own. Yet, as Fulton Sheen perceives: "There is no sign unless something happens contrary to nature. The brightness of the sun is no sign, but an eclipse is."

Okay, one more...

...then off to bed on time for a change. We went to the Grapevine Botanical Gardens after mass last weekend to do a couple of family portraits. It's been a while, and none of the group photos we took inside the church on first communion day turned out well because the lighting is so challenging in there. So anyway, here's one of my favorite photos I've ever taken. Bubba in his new suit with beaming big brother Bobcat. I can't wait for Snookie to join the club next year!

A couple photos

There is just not enough time to do all the uploading and posting that I'd like to. I've finally managed to do a quick editing and organization of my photos from vacation and Bubba's baptism, so I'll start sharing a couple faves here and there.

First up, the handsomest first communicant of the year. I think a lot of these turned out even better than Bobcat's did last year. I had my doubts because Bubba is not such a natural model. He tends to smile goofy and blink for every flash. But we managed to do quite well.

You can view a full gallery here of a couple dozen keepers.
http://ourthreesons.myphotoalbum.com/slideshow.php?set_albumName=album91

Plus his suit is a lot nicer quality than Bobcat's was. It would appear that this is one case where you definitely get what you pay for. Trust me, you should just skip Penney's and Kohl's and Sears, and go straight to Dillard's. You'll pay $20-30 more, but well worth it, I think. A good fit and finer fabric definitely makes for better photos.

Thoughts on the Notre Dame Scandal

In short: I don’t care.

To elaborate: This ship has sailed a long time ago. They employ Fr. Richard McBrien, for cryin’ out loud. He teaches heresy daily in the theology department. Isn’t that worse than having the President as a commencement speaker? Their faculty don't even sign an oath of fidelity. Now look, I think the honorary degree is despicable, but it's not out of character for the university. Why are we just now acting outraged, as if this has come out of the blue? Let Notre Dame's reputation suffer among practicing Catholics. Let the bishops decry, that is their job. But why should those of us in faraway states go to great lengths to protect it? I haven't even bothered signing the utterly useless internet petition. Not because it's inconvenient, but because it's pointless and irrelevant, and Fr. Jenkins just doesn't care. So neither do I.

More ramblings on college in general:
Besides, I’m not sure I buy into Catholic (or any religious or private) higher education as it exists today anyway. Maybe I’m too practical. I see college as training for adulthood. As such, the “college experience,” in my opinion, is way overrated. I’m sure it’s fun to go halfway across the country and live alone and “discover yourself,” but I don’t think it reflects real life.

I'm still relatively new at parenting, but I tend to favor a solid high school education, likely home schooling, covering the liberal arts, and then onto college as job training. I once knew a fellow from India who was an M.D. by the age of 24. They choose a field, and study that field (only), and then go and get a job. They don’t waste a lot of time with the “core curriculum.” That’s what high school is for. Or your free time in adulthood. Who says you have to stop learning when you leave school? Who says you should be forced to study “the classics” if they have no relevance to your career? College used to be for mature young men and women with an eye on their future. Today, it’s prolonged adolescence.

We have some time to discern our boys' path, but right now we are leaning towards two years of community college, while living at home, and finishing up at a respectable public university with a solid Catholic student ministry. (Most likely Texas A&M.)

It has been my experience that a degree helps get you the job. From there, it’s all about your work ethic, professional designations, etc. to promote from there on. I went to a “second tier” public university, and I have coworkers with name brand diplomas making the same money as I do. Having said all that, I would be fully supportive of trade school or military service if that is what my sons choose. (Did you know that your local Lexus mechanic makes six figures?) But it’s not about the money. They should be able to support a family, but they can live simply - we will teach them that! We are trying to get them into heaven, not Harvard.

I also believe in a good relationship (and reasonable proximity) between parents and children. I intend to help guide my sons into adulthood, and hope that I have a good enough relationship with them that they will be willing to accept my advice. I expect them to already be mature young adults by the time they get to college. If I’ve done my job well, they can handle the inevitable challenges to their faith and worldview that will come in a reasonably priced public university. We will discuss at the dinner table, and they will hopefully gravitate towards fellow Catholic students and chaplains with whom they can share and learn and retain their faith.

Can I prevent them from going off the reservation? No. My own family shows that some people just make stupid choices in life and have to learn everything the hard way, despite every advantage in their youth. But if my own kids do go nuts, should I be spending tens of thousands of dollars on their education anyway? If they aren’t mature enough for college at age 18, I’d prefer they work for a while until they are ready to move on. I don’t see the point of paying out the nose for a protective environment when it's the child's choices that determine whether they will live a good life and keep their faith. In my opinion, if you are ready for college, then you are ready for public college, and your parents don’t “owe” you $200,000. They gave you life. They taught you practical skills. They taught you to study. It’s up to you to make good choices and work hard.

This is especially true at the undergrad level. For higher degrees, I can see that school choice, special programs, reputations, make a difference. If they think they need a fancy graduate degree, let them work and pay for it. I might even help! But a B.S. is a B.S. is a B.S.

This might sound strange coming from a home schooler. We are often criticized for being too protective of our children. Why should they be "in the world, but not of the world" in college if we worked so hard to shelter them the first 18 years? Well, the answer is simple. They will be ready for the challenge by then, if we have done a good job as parents. We won't just throw them to the wolves, unaware and unprepared. Again, we will help them step gradually into manhood. They will be able to think critically and filter out the nonsense at a public university (just as they would have to at Notre Dame!)

If there was an excellent Catholic university close to home and affordable, I'd consider it, obviously. But the "college experience" is overrated and stupid. And to try and return to my original point, that's why I just don't care about the "Notre Dame Scandal". I have no use for a school like that, and I don't mind that they are being exposed as a waste of money.

Thoughts on charismatic Catholicism

I read an interesting post over on Darwin Catholic about healing masses and the charismatic movement in the Catholic Church. I don't want to start an argument or hurt any one's feelings here, just going to share my personal thoughts and experience.

The parish and high school youth group where I grew up was rather charismatic. I am a fairly reserved person, but eventually I let go and enjoyed the high. I think I was particularly vulnerable and emotional because of broken family teenage angst. Looking back, I had lots of "spiritual" experiences, but my faith was not very deep, and I was susceptible to Protestant/evangelical arguments against Catholicism. (Maybe there are charismatic parishes that are also very orthodox, but they don't usually seem that way, do they?) I joined a nondenominational musical group and toured for two summers sharing my testimony, mostly in Catholic churches, and lead people in prayer as they recommitted their lives to a personal relationship with Jesus. I didn't believe in "saving" people with the little formulaic prayer, like most of my teammates. But I did see Catholicism as just another denomination, and I considered leaving it.

Then, in college (most people lose their faith here, but it's where I found mine), I really caught fire with Catholic apologetics in college, and my pendulum swung back the other way pretty quickly. I was invited to lead the class and I would skip actual classes to do my research. I considered a religious vocation. Then I decided that marriage and 15 kids was the way to go. I had very little respect for other Christians, and none at all for wishy-washy Catholics. I became judgmental and condescending. I couldn't understand why my mom and my siblings didn't want to abandon that fluffy parish of my youth for a "real" Catholic church. I felt betrayed by my weak sauce CCD and confirmation classes, so I volunteered at the local parish to teach high school youth group. I would give them the "real faith", only to be disappointed that the students and other teachers and youth minister and even the pastor lacked my inquisitional zeal.

I think I have calmed down since then. I still consider myself fairly traditional and very orthodox, but I don't really long for the Latin mass (E.F. or N.O.). I like how some of the prayers are being done in Latin and I like the idea of traveling the world one day and being able to follow along at mass anywhere. But I want most of it in English, and I want to see and hear and understand what's going on. Basically, I just want a reverent Novus Ordo with quality music and good preaching, but no altar girls.

I'm still learning to discipline myself to pray every day, to visit the blessed sacrament sometimes on my lunch break, and to go to confession regularly. I want a deep personal faith and to avoid sin because I recognize how miserable I am, and how badly I need God's help to raise these children well. I hope I am less proud and more humble. I can get worked up sometimes, especially in election years. ;) But I really don't want to argue and debate in Internet forums or write too many lengthy blog posts that nobody will ever read. I want to evangelize when the opportunity presents itself, without being too in-your-face. I'm convinced that I belong to The one true Church established by Our Lord, and I'm happy to explain why if someone is interested. I'm not timid or afraid, but I'm not overly confident, and I'm not going door-to-door. My mission field is inside this house, and my flock is pretty small.

I listen to lots of contemporary Christian music, and also the Catholic Answers podcast. I'm looking to acquire more traditional black gospel music, to expose my boys to a part of their heritage, but I will evaluate the lyrics to make sure they don't represent a non-Catholic view of salvation or grace or the so-called "rapture". I still like the occasional song from the Gather Hymnal (although I can't even hear Gather Us In with a straight face because of the awesome Curt Jester parody (I can't find a link for it right now)). But Yahweh I Know You Are Near was always a favorite (until the Pope told us not to use the name Yahweh out of respect for the Jews...) Here I Am, Lord was a favorite from my youth and I still like it even if it's not perfect. You Are Mine makes me think of my boys - they played that one of our first weekends with the boys and I was holding Bubba and thinking of how I was going to be a better dad than my dad was... sappy, I know. Mostly, I like the oldies and the organ rather than the 70's and the guitars. Occasionally, when the organist is really jammin' on Holy God We Praise Thy Name, or All Creatures Of Our God And King, or Salve Regina, I just have to raise at least one hand (not too high), and close my eyes and sing nice and loud.

A little religious ed. update

Bubba is preparing for his first holy communion. We are using this little old-fashioned catechism, which is very easy for him to read, but not too dumbed-down, and certainly not hippy dippy. Solid stuff, but kid friendly. I find myself impressed at the profoundness of the simple questions and answers.

Anyway, to make an impression that first communion is a special and important thing, I decided to do catechism lessons in the evenings, after regular bed time. Last year, Bobcat was the only one who got to stay up late after the little brothers had gone to bed. This year, Bubba is the student, and Bobcat gets to stay up too, and listen in and review. Poor Snookie still has to go to bed on time, and he's bummed because he knows that everyone is up without him. But I think that is actually a good thing because it will make him desire the sacrament and take it seriously when his turn comes. There's something very exciting about staying up late. Both boys have had one lesson terminated by me and sent to bed because they weren't paying attention. Bobcat in, I believe week three last year, and Bubba in week six this year. That really makes an impression. I try not to associate punishment with something that should be joyful, but I do want them to take it seriously and feel that it is a privilege. I think it's working because they both snapped right out of it, and Bubba is just plugging right along now. One more reason why I prefer to do this preparation at home rather than in a group setting. We as parents get to decide if they are truly mature enough and adequately prepared, and we can adjust the pace to suit the individual child. Bobcat was actually done by early Feb. last year, and so Bubba to keep on pace would have finished this January, but things just haven't progressed as quickly. And that's fine. We're getting there, and he'll be so well prepared when the day finally comes.

Bobcat is enjoying his observer status this year. He is a little older and wiser, and some of the more abstract concepts are starting to sink in. In the second lesson, "God Is Great", it says that "God had no beginning. He always was. God was never born." Let me tell you, that is blowing Bobcat's mind! I believe his exact words were, "woah... that is so cool." Indeed, son!

Bubba is doing very well, too. He is such a good reader, probably better than Bobcat was at this age, so he is understanding the material a little better because he isn't struggling with the act of reading the words. The book has some very nice illustrations. No illustration adequately captures the mysteries of our faith, but it helps to show some imagery. Bubba takes those images pretty literally. I am still trying to explain how they are just "imagery", not literal representations. For example, one of last week's review questions was, "What kept the gates of heaven closed?" Bubba, remembering the picture answered, "The big piece of wood that says SIN on it." Again, we talked about how there was not an actual huge piece of wood blocking actual heavenly gates. Nor was there actual fire coming out of Jesus' heart and burning it up. Imagery is lost on the boy...

Another example, tonight's review question asked, "Where did Jesus go after He rose from the dead?" The correct answer being heaven, of course. Bubba answers, "To the house where the apostles were locked up." I was actually kind of proud of that answer, since this booklet doesn't mention that. He remembered details from the gospel itself, not just regurgitating the simple answer written on the page he just read!...

Anyway, we are only two lessons away from his first confession. He's actually looking forward to it. Apparently he doesn't know you're supposed to be nervous, and Bobcat has never given him any reason to worry about it. We should all be so joyful as this little Bubba when we go to repent!

Snowflakes

There is a group or program called "Snowflakes" that promotes adoption of frozen embryos (usually left over and abandoned after being created for the purpose of in vitro fertilization). Many pro-life people supporte the idea of embryo adoptions. Embryos are human persons deserving of dignity and therefore a chance to live. But it's not that simple.

Recently, the Vatican came out with a statement (Dignitatis Personae) addressing this and other modern medical/ethical questions. Here is the pertinent excerpt for embryo adoption:

"The proposal that [frozen] embryos could be put at the disposal of infertile couples as a treatment for infertility is not ethically acceptable for the same reasons which make artificial heterologous procreation illicit as well as any form of surrogate motherhood; this practice would also lead to other problems of a medical, psychological and legal nature.

It has also been proposed, solely in order to allow human beings to be born who are otherwise condemned to destruction, that there could be a form of 'prenatal adoption'. This proposal, praiseworthy with regard to the intention of respecting and defending human life, presents however various problems not dissimilar to those mentioned above."

All things considered, it needs to be recognized that the thousands of abandoned embryos represent a situation of injustice which in fact cannot be resolved. Therefore John Paul II made an “appeal to the conscience of the world’s scientific authorities and in particular to doctors, that the production of human embryos be halted, taking into account that there seems to be no morally licit solution regarding the human destiny of the thousands and thousands of ‘frozen’ embryos which are and remain the subjects of essential rights and should therefore be protected by law as human persons”.

When you read closely, it's not really a closed case, is it? Some people much smarter than me seem to believe it may be possible. The question seems to be: Is it a fertility treatment? Or, is it only done out of love of the abandoned child?

My question is this: How could an infertile couple (like us) claim that we were only doing it out of love? But, would it be fair to exclude infertile couples? (I don't know even know if it would work in our case, just making a point.) The Snowflakes website indicates that their purpose is two-fold: life for the babies, and treating infertility. That seems to be a disqualifier from the Catholic perspective.

Looking back in the document, what are those "reasons which make artificial heterologous procreation illicit as well as any form of surrogate motherhood"?:

With regard to the treatment of infertility, new medical techniques must respect three fundamental goods:

• a) the right to life and to physical integrity of every human being from conception to natural death
• b) the unity of marriage, which means reciprocal respect for the right within marriage to become a father or mother only together with the other spouse
• c) the specifically human values of sexuality which require “that the procreation of a human person be brought about as the fruit of the conjugal act specific to the love between spouses”.

It seems to be that points b and c apply to us.

Again, what is the motivation? Should these embryos be punished for the sins of their parents? The damage has already been done, shouldn't they be saved? Our boys were not brought about as "the fruit of the conjugal act specific to the love between spouses". Their birth parents were unmarried. Obviously the Church supports adoption of children in need of families. Such hopeless phrases, "cannot be resolved", and "no morally licit solution"? Isn't that the Church's job??? To resolve moral questions? Surely there will be more on this.

I have struggled with the idea that we as an infertile couple are not as fully united as regular couples who become pregnant and have babies. There's so much talk in the Catholic world about marital love being both unitive and procreative. That's the basic argument against artificial contraception. It's also the basic argument against homosexual activity. A sad and frustrated infertile couple can't help but feel inferior, maybe even cursed.

Point B above makes it more clear. Your womb, whether it works or not, is not for anyone else to use. She shouldn't use a sperm donor if our infertility was male factor. I should not use a donor egg and surrogate mother to become a father without my wife involved. We can only become parents together.

The fact that our children are adopted does not make us any less united in our love as husband and wife. Our sacramental marriage gave us the graces to raise children together, and as far as I know that applies equally to adopted children. But Snowflakes is more than adoption - it's surrogate motherhood, and as such it violates our marriage covenant.

An interesting quote

"Peace of soul cannot come from the person, any more than the person can lift himself up by his own ears. Help must come from without; and it must be not merely human help, but Divine help."

-Archbishop Fulton Sheen

Stupidity

So, I've ranted about dumb anti-Catholic nonsense before.

I've found another article to get me riled up this Friday morning.

Catholic critics ask pope to lift contraception ban

Nothing unusual here, it's mostly the same tired old BS. The Pope should allow contraception because we don't think it's a sin. Well, regardless our reader's views on this (I know not all of you are Catholic), you must agree that some of these lines are just plain stupid. For example,

The letter, written in Italian, said the Church's anti-contraception policy "has had a catastrophic impact on the poor and powerless around the world, endangering women's lives and leaving millions at risk of HIV."

Let's take this slowly. First, the part about poor people. What exactly does the Church have to do with the price of contraceptives? What, do they want the Church to give it to them for free along with groceries at food pantries? Do they want Mother Teresa's Sisters of Charity to hand out condoms and pills on street corners, instead of focusing on healthcare and education?

Also, the "risk of HIV". Ummmm... if you wait for marriage and don't stray, where's the risk of HIV? The only ones at risk of HIV are the ones who hook up with HIV-infected people. The Church doesn't want you doing that in the first place. I can't imagine someone picking up a hooker, and when she hands him a condom, he says "Oh no, I can't use that, I'm Catholic." If you were practicing your faith, you wouldn't be in bed with strangers to begin with.

Another excerpt:
The letter was signed by groups such as Catholics for Choice, which is U.S. based, We Are Church, which has branches in numerous countries, and New Ways Ministry, which helps minister to gay Catholics.

Please help me understand why the gay people want contraception?!?!?! They do know where babies come from, don't they? Here's a hint: Two dudes in "love" might be at risk for a whole lot of nasty things, but pregnancy isn't one of them.

Seriously, they're just not trying very hard. I would be embarrassed to write an article that presented such weak and illogical arguments.

Stones

We made an appointment for confession with Fr. J yesterday afternoon. I think we will do this more often. Fr. J is a kind retired priest, very wise and insightful. He's the one that we chose for Bobcat's first holy communion. Fr. J has a reputation for being a bit long-winded. Which is lovely if you have the time to visit, but can make for some rather lengthy homilies (aka, sermons). And he really likes to take his time in confession, getting to the root of the issue and truly counseling. He takes at least 20 minutes per person, and there are usually 30 people in line. You do the math... Making an appointment is definitely the way to go!

Fr. J said many things during my time, and one of the things that really struck me was this. He borrowed a quote from the (apparently well-known) Methodist missionary E. Stanley Jones. It went something like this. Life is going to throw stones at you. You can stand there and get hit and beaten down and destroyed by them. Or you can catch them, and build with them, and climb on top to get a better view of life. I'm sure I'm not doing it justice, but the way he explained it really blew my mind.

Freedom

I've been reading Fulton Sheen's Peace of Soul. It is fascinating. I tried reading it before, a couple of years ago, but got distracted and put it down. They play some of his old recorded sermons on the radio early in the morning, and he is such a powerful speaker that I decided to try the book again. It's not the easiest read (if most of what you read is fluffy and entertaining) but it is worth the effort.

As a former psychology major, I'm finding his critique of modern psychotherapy very interesting. He acknowledges that therapy has its place and uses, but it cannot by itself get to the heart of issues that are rooted in a troubled soul. It can work well alongside good spiritual direction, but it could also lead to deeper problems if not properly applied. He talks a lot about mining the subconscious versus examination of consience.

There are so many great little tidbits that I've been highlighting. Here's one that I think applies well to many current events.

"By denying any ultimate standard outside of self, one can escape all self-blame and go through life on a perpetual mission of face saving. Marxism is one form of the denial of conscience - because it blames our sense of inner tension on economic conditions. Other ideologies trace the existence of the consience to the influence of the herd. Such philosophies all assume that a person is other-determined, rather than self-determined. They deny that man is free, and yet usually claim for every person a right freely to choose is own opinions."

That last sentence really struck me. People who claim "freedom of choice" in matters of sexual perversion, divorce, abortion, etc. have a faulty argument because they have denied absolute truth. They have reduced themselves to animals acting on instinct. But animals do not have freedom. It's a paradox (if I'm using that term correctly) that those who submit to God are the ones who have true freedom. We are able to recognize right and wrong, and we are free to choose good.

President Bush and the Pope

I've been following the blog "Benedict in America" and I thought this was very interesting:

"It was the first time in his presidency that Bush had gone to Andrews to welcome any head of state. The air base has hosted more than 300 arrivals or departures by heads of state since 2006."

The president also gave a really nice interview with EWTN's Raymond Arroyo (I recommend The World Over podcast) and was not bashful about expressing his admiration for the Holy Father. That really endeared President Bush to me. He made a great comment about not separating his faith from his public office that was very eloquent. He's definitely not the blubbering idiot Jon Stewart wants you to believe he is.

Jolly Old Saint Nick

Patrick at Creative Minority Report has a post up about first communion preparations at this parish. Here's a sample:

"Then the children proceeded to the sanctuary right in front of the altar where they began a song that made the first little diddy seem like a Schubert composition. This song had more hand motions than a three day conference for the hearing impaired. Then they started a clappin'! Then they started a hootin' and hollerin' punching their fists Arsenio Hall style "Woo Woo! Jesus!" clap clap clap "Woo Woo! Jesus!"

Hilarious! As I posted previously, we opted out of the group instruction for Bobcat, and it's not half as bad at our parish (but they do require the making of felt banners... barf).

I got this wonderful historical gem from one of the commenters:

"At the Council of Nicea, Arius was TKO'd by another bishop, who was outraged by his heresy. What I mean is, he was slapped hard right across the kisser! The emperor threw the misbehaving bishop in jail. That night, the emperor had a dream, seeing that bishop resplendent in his episcopal robes and holding the Book of Gospels. Awakened and alarmed, he called his guards to accompany him to the dungeon. There they found this "disrespectful" bishop, just as the emperor saw him in his dream. The bishop was immediately released.That naughty bishop was none other than Nicholas of Myra. That's right... Jolly old St Nick cold-cocked a heretic!"

Any suggestions on how we can incorporate this story into our family's Christmas festivities?

So many choices

Yesterday during school we were discussing Lent (naturally). I decided to see if the boys could come up with their own sacrifice that they could do daily, instead of something that we chose for them. Several ideas were kicked around, they considered some of their favorite foods that they would refrain from (cucumbers were discussed, but Snookie was quick to shut that conversation down... there was no way he was going 40 days without his beloved cucumbers), some of their belongings were thrown into the mix, but ultimately they decided to add something to their routine instead of take away.



I was pretty impressed with what they came up with. They each want to draw a picture daily (during school time) of something that happened during Christ's life. The reason I really like this particular idea is because it is just another way to make the life of Christ more tangible to them (that and they came up with it on their own, then all decided that they wanted to do it). There are no restrictions as to what part of his life... I'm really excited to see what they will get out of this particular exercise!


So without further ado... here are the images from yesterday:

Bobcat's if pretty easy to figure out! (Check out the blue flowers where Mary is kneeing, I thought that was a nice touch.)

Bubba's is a little more confusing, but as best as I understand it... this is Heaven and there are several people there and Jesus is having a conversation with Adam (as in Adam and Eve). (Yes I know Bubba's eye look funny in this shot, I took 10 different shots of him and in all of them his eyes were closed...this was the best of the bunch :-)

Snookie got really creative... this is a picture of Jesus driving out the demons. Jesus is the one with hair, and the figure in the box is the demon.

I love the fact that they are all different; they each came up with something on their own and really went with it!

First Communion

Bobcat's first holy communion on Friday was a wonderful experience! He did a great job, and everything went very well.

We counted 58 friends and relatives in attendance at mass, and 50 of them came back to the house for cake and punch. It was very cozy. Bobcat felt very special that so many people wanted to celebrate with him. Also, I think our relatives were impressed by how many of our friends were there. Hopefully they are happy to see that we have a lot of support as parents, and that the boys have lots of little friends to socialize with. I know I am thankful for the community that has embraced our family.

A special thank you to Matilda who purchased a cake for us. Not only was it delicious, but having that professionally made and decorated gave MommLlama one less BIG job to do in preparation for the event, and it relieved the anxiety she felt over possibly making one herself. Very thoughtful of you, just a shame you didn't get to eat any!



We've posted the photos online in two albums. One set contains photos the from the party. The others are some portraits that we took at church yesterday afternoon. It was a beautiful day outside so we decided to dress him up and play with the camera. I thought they turned out really well. It's easy to take good pictures of this kid - he's a natural at posing and smiling. My Photoshop software really came in handy by allowing me to remove the big scratch from his forehead. If only I could have it add the missing teeth! The other boys were very patient and well-behaved, so we went to dinner and to a movie (the new Veggie Tales - it was hilarious!) as a reward.

Doesn't he look great in his suit and tie? My sister gave him that beautiful rosary. You'll see the color of it in some of the other photos in the album, it's his birthstone.

Snazzy shoes, eh?

Environmentalism

It just so happens that one of the featured saints for this month's Blue Knights meeting was St. Boniface. He is a really interesting guy, and I think he should enjoy a new wave of popularity in modern times. The most popular story involves St. Boniface cutting down a giant oak tree that some pagans had been worshipping as a god. Some reports even say there was human sacrifice involved. To prove that the tree was not a god or a holy object, St. Boniface took his ax and felled the tree. Many were converted when Thor failed to strike him dead for his blasphemy.

The way this relates to modern times is that it seems modern environmentalists are more concerned about "mother earth" than the human inhabitants. Large families are scorned as "using up" too many resources. Some people are even beginning to have no children at all. One foreign government (Australia?) proposed to tax families $5,000 for each newborn child, as reparation for the environmental damage the little CO2 breather would emit through his life. Modern liberals are more concerned with the baby seals than the baby humans.

I love the image in our book of St. Boniface with his ax swinging. I couldn't find that exact image, but ones here are nice too. Above, he is baptizing a convert with his foot on the stump. Below, he is in mid-swing.

I'm not saying we shouldn't be good stewards of the earth, but many are getting their priorities backward. I imagine St. Boniface would have liked to remind us of the right order in our day.

Fess up

While waiting patiently, studying his prayer card, Bobcat whispers to Daddio that he just remembered another thing he will tell the priest during his confession.

That was last night, sitting in the pew waiting for our family's turn for confession. I went in first and once finished I told the priest that Bobcat was coming in next that this was his first confession... to which the priest said, "Oh praise God, and how wonderful." With a giant smile on his face, Bobcat entered the confessional... and exited with an even bigger grin. Next up was Daddio and then everyone back into the car. Bobcat's reaction to his first confession: "That was so cool, I can't wait to do it again."

I was worried he might be nervous, I sort of remember preparing for mine and I do remember be a wreck... and that it took 10 years before I did it again (for those doing the math... First Communion/Confession and not again till Confirmation). But I think we are doing a much better job preparing him for his sacraments than I was ever taught. Not only that, Daddio and I try to make a conscious effort to show our love for the sacraments, and in regards to confession... we take them with us when we go. There's nothing like seeing your parent do something and wanting to do it as well. This was something I've never witnessed my parents participating in, and led me to think in my early years that it was scary and not necessary.