I know it is irrational...

So, I have this anxiety issue... I've had it for... um forever. What is it... doing anything in front of people on my own. I deplore speaking, reading, playing, anything... in front of people if I'm the only one doing it.

I was in ballet for several (early) years... totally fine, dancing in a group. Drama, acting with an ensemble in junior high also totally fine. Cheerleader in junior/high school... also fine, I was with my squad. Band... fine as long as I was just one in the section, not so fine during chair tests. Now, I usually did just fine, placing in the top few seats... but my nerves, um NOT GOOD!

Why am I even bringing this up... tonight at rehearsal, our new (and cool) band master is holding sectionals instead of our normal full rehearsal. That means all the woodwinds (flutes, clarinets, and saxes together... brass later in the evening) will be working with the conductor... and that means really getting down to the nitty gritty of the music... which means listening very carefully to each one of us... ALONE, in front of the rest of the section. And as ridiculous (for a 30 year old who's been playing since she was in 7th grade) as it sounds those exact same anxious feelings from high school band have made their way back into my jitty stomach and fingers!

Honey, if you're reading this... do think we can stop and get me a drink (just a dp) on the way to settle my nerves :-)?

A beautiful piece

Take a few minutes to listen this amazing piece which fully captures the emotions of Easter Sunday!

Russian Easter Overture

The Grammy's

Most years, Daddio and I watch the Grammy's... mostly to see how out of touch we are to what 'the kids' are listen' to these days. This year was no exception. I was surprised to see the Wiggles there... oh duh... scratch that, turns out that was Coldplay. And the Four Tops, minus three of those Tops, and add in Jamie Fox/NeYo/Smokie... interesting... sort of.

Okay, and I'm sure there are those out there that will burn me for this... but Paul McCartney CAN'T SING... sorry. The man doesn't seem to have a note in him that is IN TUNE! Maybe that is the music theory major in me... but that goes for Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift as well... ACK! Please ladies, when you work on singing LIVE, let's make sure you can actually hit the RIGHT pitch. PAINFUL!

What else? Oh the M.I.A girl... 9 months preggo... not the most attractive way to carry on as a soon to be mother!

Oh, and it really annoys me that they only have the a few categories that they show on TV and a bunch of crappy singing... but they don't show some of the really cool awards... such as all of the Christian music awards. I wish they would show more awards and less CRAP! Seriously should I really be subjected to any more music that has to be muted by the channel due to inappropriate language?

So there you have it, an 'out of touch nearly 30 year old mother of 3's' take on the Grammy's of 2009!

Just beautiful

H/T: Creative Minority Report

Well, that's depressing...

Everyone knows the tune, but have you ever read the lyrics?

Drove she ducklings to the water
Ev'ry morning just at nine,
Hit her foot against a splinter,
Fell into the foaming brine.

Ruby lips above the water,
Blowing bubbles, soft and fine,
But, alas, I was no swimmer,
So I lost my Clementine.

Oh my darling, oh my darling,
Oh my darling, Clementine!
Thou art lost and gone forever
Dreadful sorry, Clementine

Well, that's depressing. But I'm still going to use that name some day. MommaLlama laughed the first time I mentioned it, several years ago when we were thinking of baby names. But she's coming around...

And for what it's worth, I was not inspired by the song. The idea came to me from the Hail, Holy Queen prayer (O clement, O loving, O sweet Vrgin Mary...) I looked up the definition of clement - it means merciful - and decided that would be a good name some day. That was many years ago.

By the way, this post is not dropping hints about anything. I just happened to come across that song recently. Trust us, we'll let you know if any new little people show up around here. Right now, we are getting our baby fix vicariously through our friends' pregnancy. Look how big he's getting (in the sidebar)!

Okay, back to work.

Another song

I think the Ipod shuffle is trying to make me cry today. John Michael Montgomery's "The Little Girl" just came on. I haven't heard that song in years, since before we had the boys. Definitely hits close to home now. Here's a YouTube link. I'm pretty sure it's not the original video, someone else made the slideshow and set it to music. (And the story in the song doesn't quite match our boys', but still, it's a tear jerker.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRriDcrU7-Q

Now I just need to watch "The Land Before Time" tonight and it'll be the perfect day. My next post will be more macho.

A Step or Two

Another beautiful song came across on the iPod randomizer. I love rediscovering music that we bought in high school and haven't heard in a long time. This one is Michael W. Smith, "What Are You Waiting For". Here are the lyrics:


I walked this road so very long ago,
to show the way so you would know.
I walked the road with holes in my hands and feet,
to make the way. Come follow me.

No you are not alone, you will be free indeed.
The journey begins and ends with me.
One million miles, it starts with a step or two.
What are you waiting for? I'm waiting for you.

You run the race, thinking you've almost won,
Then you may find you've only begun.
You're on the road thinking you're far from here
And suddenly find, you're very near.


No you are not alone, you will be free indeed.
The journey begins and ends with me.
One million miles, it starts with a step or two.
What are you waiting for? I'm waiting for you.


This was just the song I needed to hear. I have a big account to work on today. Lots of little steps, it's a bit overwhelming to even get started. I've already had two coffee breaks, trying to put it off. Time to dig in.


Also, I hope we can use this song at some point in our work with prospective adoptive families, and prospective homeschoolers. It's a much gentler way to present our core message which is, essentially, "Quit whining and just do it!" Take a leap, folks. God will catch you.


To MommaLlama - I'm so glad we took the first step. Some days it feels like we're far from home. Some days it feels like we haven't gone very far at all. We definitely have a lot more steps to go, but we'll make it. I love you.

Another music post

We recently purchased an album called, "How Great Thou Art: Gospel Favorites from the Grand Ole Opry"

We bought it because we happened to hear the Carrie Underwood version of "How Great Thou Art" on TV and were absolutely blown away. It is a very nice and simple arrangement, not a lot of "decoration" or "artistic license". Just pure and beautiful, with a slight Southern touch. And WOW, what a finish. Again, not a "diva" version, but man does she have some pipes. We immediately jumped on iTunes and bought the whole album.

And I am loving it. These are mostly old standards for those familiar with Southern gospel music. As Catholics, we don't know them all so well, but are really enjoying them now. The one getting the most play on my iPod this week is the Dierks Bentley version of "House of Gold", and I thought I would post the lyrics here:

Verse 1:
People steal, they cheat and lie
For wealth and what it will buy ...
But don't they know on the Judgement Day
That Gold and silver will melt a- way.

CHORUS:
I'd rather be in a deep dark grave
And know that my poor soul was saved ...
Than to live in this world in a House Of Gold
And deny my God and doom my soul.

Verse 2:
What good is Gold and silver, too
If your heart's not good and true?
Sinner hear me when I say:
Fall down on your knees and pray.

CHORUS:
I'd rather be in a deep dark grave
And know that my poor soul was saved ...
Than to live in this world in a House Of Gold
And deny my God and doom my soul.

The tune is beautiful, and the lyrics are the perfect message for me at this time. It keeps me grounded at work, and reminds me that I "work to live, not live to work" as the saying goes. A lot of people in my company, especially now that I work with producers on larger accounts, are very driven and motivated by sales and commissions. Nothing wrong with that in and of itself, but some of these folks really push the line. There's certainly nothing unethical or illegal going on, but for lack of a better word, many of them are just not very nice. You know what I mean? They're pushy, demanding, willing to bend the rules a little. And a lot of their families suffer as a result of their insane "work-aholism."

Having the iPod on something inspirational and uplifting during the day seems to help me stay on the right track. To work hard so that, yes, I will be successful and support my family, but also so that I can get everything done and come home on time. And to be charitable when I must be firm, and to avoid gossip (because I can't hear most of it!). So, I would highly recommend this album to any of you. Even if you are not a big country music fan, anyone could appreciate and enjoy the authentic and wholesome vibe, and make your music collection a little more eclectic.

Music

Tina, Tina, Tina... someone lied to you, honey! That outfit is not good. Skin-tight silver lame' capri pants? It's time to age gracefully, mmmkay? Can I get an Amen?

I'm referring to Tina Turner on the Grammy's, for those who missed the show. Not sure why I'm watching the Grammy's. I can't say I'm a fan of any modern pop music, but we tune into these awards shows once in a great while, just to catch a glimpse of what we're missing (not much!), and to marvel at how stupid and disgusting everything is these days.

But, you know, I'm kind of digging this Foo Fighers thing because the orchestral accompaniment is really good, especially that trumpet player. Dude, he is really wailing. Aww, orchestral interlude is over, now the actual band is playing again. I could really do without all the singing/yelling. More orchestra please. I guess I'm not really into Foo Fighters after all.

Okay, now there's some country stuff. I like Brad Paisley. But I don't listen to country radio much any more because there are so many songs about getting drunk and shacking up. I listen to contemporary Christian radio some, but they tend to repeat a lot of the same stuff, and some of it is too soft and sappy. There's a pretty good Christian rock station, but a lot of that music is too hard core for my taste, and their morning DJ's are really annoying. We are lucky to have Catholic radio locally now, but during my morning commute time it's playing the daily mass, which is not fun to listen to on the radio. If I'm headed out early, they play old Fulton Sheen recordings (6:00-6:30) and those are quite powerful. I think I'm trying to talk myself into an iPod or satellite radio, so I can find stuff that suits my eclectic taste. I'll use regular radio now and then to listen for new stuff I might want to add. But I could do without the commercials and the 80% of music that just doesn't do it for me.

But I'm not going to spend that much on myself right now. I have enough toys (repeat that ten times until I start to believe it). We're saving our tax return (again, hooray for TurboTax, my refund was direct deposited last Friday) for a nifty summer vacation, hopefully with some good friends from college. So, I'll try not to spend any money. At least not until after Lent...

Oh, no no no... Aretha, who told you to go strapless?