Monday, July 7, 2008

Father knows best

Last night we caught Catholic Compass on EWTN, with special guest Dr. Ray Guarendi. They were speaking on Fatherhood... specifically what has happened to the role of Fatherhood in modern times, and how to get men to step up to the plate and take their rightful place BACK in the family unit.

During one segment they were discussing the notion that men now find their validation and sense of purpose at work, and when they get home they want their peace and quiet... and how women have adjusted to being the sole caregiver in every area of keeping the home and raising the children. Sometimes when the father does try to take some sort of control over a situation the wife becomes angry (as if the husband/father is somehow stepping on her toes).

How true is that, this in the beginning was a real struggle for me! Especially when Daddio traveled a great deal. He wasn't an absentee father on purpose... but he wasn't always home every night, leaving me to handle all things that fell under this roof. Over the last four years I've had to learn my role as wife and mother, and Daddio has had to learn his role... and we've had to call each other out at times as to what we are supposed to be doing.

Fr. asked Dr. Ray, how can a the husband/wife team work more efficiently: "TRUST". Scott Hahn elaborated a little (this is actually a quote from his wife, Kimberly) "I've never been wrong trusting you, and I've never been right distrusting you." I think this is what it truly comes down to, TRUST! Mother's want to make sure it is going to be done right (what ever IT might be), and instead of letting their husband be the head of their household... they simply do it themselves! This is not to say that the husband will do it wrong, but if she has little in the way of experience from her own background of a strong father figure (or sees little in his) then she doesn't want to let it fall through the cracks! Instead as wives and mothers, we have an obligation to our children and our husband to lift up our spouse so that they can the spiritual head of the household.

So ladies, be the helpmates you are called to be... help your husband be the best husband and father the Lord has called him to be. Pray for your husbands, pray for the role model of your children, and pray that your hearts are filled with trust for your spouse!!

1 comment:

La Familia said...

That's a lesson our couple's group really tries to drive home. That distrusting your husband in front of your children is far worse for their souls in the long run then any mistake your husband can make raising them. It's not easy to do and I don't know 1 woman who does not have interior struggles about this but we should all strive to trust and obey.