Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Listening In

Daddio overheard a conversation between the boys...

Bobcat talking to Bubba: "Jesus puts the baby in the tummy. And when Jesus puts baby Hannah in Mommy's tummy, wouldn't it be cool if we could see Him do that."

Okay, so now let me do some explaining... Bobcat is referencing the Annunciation, except he figures (I guess) that since Jesus is now in heaven that the Holy Spirit doesn't need to do that part, the way He did with Mother Mary. Second he's six, and we have not (and won't anytime soon) explained how we normal people conceive. Third, over the camping weekend one of his prayers during the evening rosary was to have a baby sister named Hannah. I'm not sure where he picked up this name... but it is kind of odd in the sense that this was a serious contender when we were coming up with girl names back in the day.

Knowing how much the boys want more siblings brings so many emotions to the surface. It could be really easy for them to not want anyone else in our family... there are three of them and why would they want to share Mommy and Daddy with anyone else, not to mention the background they come from... not that they fully connect with it, but it is there. But that just isn't them... it never has been. From very early on they were asking when they could have more brothers and sisters, I remember the first time Bobcat was serious and '7 more' was his answer... he likes nice round numbers. It warms my heart that they are open to that, but it breaks my heart too knowing that wanting more kids isn't enough to make it happen. It involves homestudies, paperwork, classes, and waiting... at the mercy of others.

So what do you tell that six year old who is looking up at you and asking when can they have a baby sister/brother (the same six year old who forgets on a regular basis that he and his brothers were not born of your womb - even though it has only been 2 1/2 years since they came home to us)... for us, just remind them that they need to pray for it. The same thing I remind myself.

5 comments:

4andcounting said...

We (obviously) don't have quite the same struggles as your family. The girls have been asking for a baby sister off and on for a good year or so. Once they realized Monster was a boy and that he would grow up and not be a baby forever the requests for a sister began. We do tell them they can pray and ask Jesus (our main target of prayer right now) to give us a baby sister, but that Jesus might not want that for us right now. I'm so grateful that they are still open to siblings--I guess it means they don't feel like I never have time for them. Personally, their prayers are the only efforts that will be made towards a new sibling for the time being, but I do see it as a reminder that we have to go to God for guidance every month. It would be so easy to get settled into this life and not consider any more kids, but that is not what we are called to do. The fact that your boys are asking for siblings is only a sign that you must be doing your job very well.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, then I must be a horrible mother because my dd has never asked for a sibling.

4andcounting said...

I didn't mean to indicate that the only sign of good parenting is a request for siblings. It is just one way of children expressing the love they have for their parents and each other (when there is more than one child present) and wanting to share that love. Obviously some kids might not ever ask for a sibling but still feel loved and valued and are loving towards others. I guess I just find comfort in the sentiment expressed by my kids. Maybe I am looking for encouragement wherever I can get it, including in the innocent desires of my children.

Daddio said...

Please don't think that, Anonymous. I always wished I was an only child!...

No seriously, I suspect the thought just hasn't crossed her mind yet. It just seems logical that the kids who have a baby brother or sister around would know to ask for more. The first-born who hasn't experienced that yet just doesn't know any differently.

Have you talked about it with your daughter before? Does she know that you want more children (I'm assuming you do)? Going out on a limb here and guessing that maybe infertility has been a painful thing for you, and you've tried not to bring it up around her. Maybe you could tell her about your own hope for more babies, so then she can begin to think and pray about it.

Daddio said...
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