It didn't take long for him to feel less like a nephew and more like a son... and that is definitely how we treated him. I held nothing back (I will speak for myself... I will let Daddio write on his own feelings if he so chooses). I wanted him to know that he was loved no matter what, that the circumstances of his conception and birth had nothing to do with who he was/is. I wanted to gain his trust, and allow him to form a healthy attachment. Those who live in the foster/adoption world know just how fundamental that is and what can result if it isn't there.
Today is a very sad day for me. Today I had to say goodbye to my time with Bean. Today the court system decided the send him (and his brother) back to his deadbeat father. I knew he probably wouldn't get to stay with us forever, although I did pray that Our Dear Lord would make it so. Today I had to pack up all of his belongings, and all the special things that we shared together. Today I had to pack him up in his carseat and watch him leave. I wasn't prepared. I knew there was a chance that it would be today, but I believed that this was not our ending.
This morning as the boys did their school work, Bean played on the floor... and as he played I grabbed the camera knowing that these would be the last shots I would take of his time with me. And as if to give me one more gift... he rolled over... completely unassisted... 3 times. I was able to capture one of them with the camera, and am so grateful to have these images.
And while my heart breaks knowing our time together has come to an end, I wouldn't trade any of it even knowing how hard it was to watch him go. No child is actually ever ours, they are a gift from God... we only have them for a short time and then they must go. He was entrusted to my care when I needed him most, when I was once again letting go of a dream. HIS is a perfect plan.
He is my special Bean.