Sunday, March 26, 2006

How can you love someone more when you already love them completely?

This is a thought that I've had for some time now, how is it that every morning I love my boys more than the moment before I went into their room... how is is possible when I already love so completely and unconditionally. And yet every morning when I step through that door and announce "Good Morning" my heart seems to expand and fill with more love... just overflowing.

Take this morning, I battled all night with a migraine (and well into the morning). I didn't want to get out of bed, fearing the horrific pain of simply walking, but I knew it was time for the kiddo's to get up and get breakfast. So I marched down the hall near tears, opened the door, and was met with "good morning's" even before I could get the words out myself. Out came Jelly Man, full of morning roars of love, then Bubba gave me a great big hug and told me he love me and that he tried to stay dry but had lost the battle, and Austin was bouding about talking about breakfast. No I didn't feel great, but seeing them made me feel so good and the pain started to subside.

There are just so many moments that I can picture, and I just can't believe that they are hear... and that my heart just keeps overflowing with complete and utter love for them. Things as simple as sitting in the gameroom reading books to them, their eyes fixed on me and the book waiting patiently (some times) to find out what is going to happen next even in a book we have read a hundred times. Seeking my approval when they create something out of their legos, or a new song they want me to hear... there are times when I just look at them and really can't believe that this is real.

And the whole mommy instinct has become so much stronger. Like last week when we were at the Shrine, Bubba tripped and fell. Usually I like his father, simply say brush it off and lets keep going; but something inside told me to bend down and give him a hug. So that is what I did, and as his face reached my shoulder he just balled. After a moment he regained himself and was off again doing his thing... but at that moment he needed me to console him, and I knew it... what a wonderful feeling inside it left me with.

Life is just so different now, so full, so complete!

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