Father knows best

Last night we caught Catholic Compass on EWTN, with special guest Dr. Ray Guarendi. They were speaking on Fatherhood... specifically what has happened to the role of Fatherhood in modern times, and how to get men to step up to the plate and take their rightful place BACK in the family unit.

During one segment they were discussing the notion that men now find their validation and sense of purpose at work, and when they get home they want their peace and quiet... and how women have adjusted to being the sole caregiver in every area of keeping the home and raising the children. Sometimes when the father does try to take some sort of control over a situation the wife becomes angry (as if the husband/father is somehow stepping on her toes).

How true is that, this in the beginning was a real struggle for me! Especially when Daddio traveled a great deal. He wasn't an absentee father on purpose... but he wasn't always home every night, leaving me to handle all things that fell under this roof. Over the last four years I've had to learn my role as wife and mother, and Daddio has had to learn his role... and we've had to call each other out at times as to what we are supposed to be doing.

Fr. asked Dr. Ray, how can a the husband/wife team work more efficiently: "TRUST". Scott Hahn elaborated a little (this is actually a quote from his wife, Kimberly) "I've never been wrong trusting you, and I've never been right distrusting you." I think this is what it truly comes down to, TRUST! Mother's want to make sure it is going to be done right (what ever IT might be), and instead of letting their husband be the head of their household... they simply do it themselves! This is not to say that the husband will do it wrong, but if she has little in the way of experience from her own background of a strong father figure (or sees little in his) then she doesn't want to let it fall through the cracks! Instead as wives and mothers, we have an obligation to our children and our husband to lift up our spouse so that they can the spiritual head of the household.

So ladies, be the helpmates you are called to be... help your husband be the best husband and father the Lord has called him to be. Pray for your husbands, pray for the role model of your children, and pray that your hearts are filled with trust for your spouse!!

You learn somethin' new!

Don't you just love going to Mass, and the priest gives a homily and you learn something new?! I LOVE IT! And every time I see Fr. D processing, I just know that I will get some new insight into the readings that I've never heard before. This weekend was no different... except for when he started his homily mentioning that due to some miscommunication he had prepared for the wrong readings (I'm guessing there was a last minute switch up for which priest would be preaching this weekend)...

Anyway, back to the new thing I learned. This Sunday's gospel (Matthew 11:25-30), Fr. D. focused in on the last verse: "For my yoke is easy, and my burden light." Did you know that when a yoke was made for an ox, it was made for a specific ox... as in custom made, and when that ox died the yoke was destroyed. It couldn't be used for another ox because it would injure or even cripple it because it wasn't designed for it. Fr. D went on to tell a story of a woman who had died, and was standing at the pearly gates gripping and complaining to St. Peter about how difficult her yoke was during her life and how it was really too much for her and that she should have received an easier yoke. So he showed her to a room filled with yokes and asked her to find the one that she felt she should have received instead. She walked around trying this one on and that one on, and finally settled on the one that seemed to fit her just right. St. Peter asked her if she had chosen one, and pleased with herself she motioned to the one that she wished she'd had during her time on earth... and (you know what's coming) St. Peter told her that was the very one she had worn during her life!

On the car ride home, Daddio and I were talking about this yoke... our yokes in specific, and we came to the conclusion that we shouldn't ask to have our yokes lightened but instead pray for the grace to labor under these custom yokes. God has given us what HE knows will lead us on the path of holiness (if we take up the challenge to follow Him), and we shouldn't avoid that which will make us sanctified. We should follow our Father in heaven like children, right? So stop our complaining, and be obediant!

One more...

This might be my favorite. I bumped up the saturation in photoshop to show the richness of the colors. I just love blue and green ones.

I'll also share a little more info about our evening. We left home at 7:00 and stopped by (evil but delicious) Starbuck's for a couple of venti caramel frappuccinos. We were at our viewing spot by 7:30. It was over 90 degrees, but it was pleasant in the shade with a nice breeze. There was plenty of room for the boys to play. MommaLlama packed us home made popsicles, grapes, and cookies to snack on. I played with the camera and we listened to the country music drifting over from the concert playing about a mile down the river. The hot air balloon you see below didn't take off or land, I think it might have just been sitting there as an advertisement for something. But it made for some fun photos, especially as it grew dark and they blasted the fire every so often to keep it upright. Very neat photos. I sat and watched the kids play and thought about the hundreds of dollars worth of new photo equipment I want. A good wide angle lens for one, but at least a remote control so that I could fire the shutter without introducing any camera shake. At least this year I had a real tripod so that it would sit perfectly still for the entire 4-second exposure required to capture the fireworks as shown. The sunlight before the sun sets is nice and golden and great for photos, so I posed the boys for a couple shots, and then set the 12-second timer and the tripod and ran around to get a full family portrait. We arrived early enough to get a great parking spot and a great veiwing spot. It got more crowded, but we were on the top edge of a steep embankment where the river bends, so nobody sitting beside or in front of us could block our, or the camera's, view of the skyline and fireworks. When it got dark, the boys took their seats. Seems like everyone just did blankets when we were kids, but folding chairs are pretty cool. The boys have their own this year. Now, Snookie has always been scared of fireworks because of the noise. But this year he decided to be brave and sit in his own chair, between his brothers. He held their hands, but it was a huge step for him. I guess we need another baby for MommaLlama's lap ;)

All in all, a really lovely evening. I momentarily considered skipping the whole thing. Thursday night was busy, and we were all tired and dreading the heat. But we decided to make some memories and tolerate the weather and crowds, and we were rewarded with very nice weather and thin crowds. We're glad we did it, and we'll definitely do it again every year.

Happy 4th!

I miss the heckicoppers

Snookie is definitely still the baby around here. He is maturing a lot, and speaking very clearly for a five-year-old. Perhaps not as well as Bobcat did at his age. Birth order is an interesting subject. I've got a book on that to read, and will report back on that later. But anyway, these days Snookie can consistently pronounce the following words correctly:

Helicopter, formerly "heckicopper"
Motorcycle, formerly "mokokykle"
Elbow, formerly "abb-oh"
Nose, formerly "no" (he drops a LOT of ending sounds...)
"Hold me mommy," formerly "Hold you, mommy!" (As in, do you want me to hold you, Snookie? Yes, Mommy, I want me to hold you!)

But he still struggles with a couple things. Like "baving soup". That's "bathing suit" for you English speakers. And the cutest thing of all, "arken-angel". As in, St. Micheal, the arken-angel. You know him. He's the one that rebukes the evil spirits who proww about the world, sickin' da ruins of souls.

And we are reluctant to correct him, because it's so cute. He'll catch on eventually. But we're keeping our arken-angel for now, because it makes us smile every night.

Wipe that smug look off your face

I'm linking to another article that was included in the THSC e-newsletter. The author suggests something MommaLlama and I have discussed frequently, which is that perhaps those who despise homeschooling (or any other form of moral stand) feel threatened and feel "judged". If we refuse to send our kids to public school, or to do Santa/Tooth Fairy/Easter Bunny, or if my wife chooses to cover her head in church, or if we don't allow sleepovers before we feel the children are ready to leave our home, people feel that we are criticizing them.

I often wonder what we could do better or differently. How can we accommodate others' comfort zone without compromising our own principles? Are we too aggressive, confrontational, sarcastic? Clearly we come across as snooty and self-righteous. I was once called "holier-than-thou", and that was long before I ever had a wife or children. I'm hoping I'm even holier now that the weight of the world is on my shoulders. As much as we try to appear that we are just minding our own business and making our own choices ("freedom of choice", anyone?), many people, especially those closest to us, who are sadly not that close any more, feel that we are judging and shunning and rejecting them.

We seem to have plenty of friends, but our families simply do not understand us or like us very much. We can't enjoy any type of serious discussion with them. We can't bring up children, politics, books, movies, religion, or anything remotely interesting, because our opinions are so conflicting. So we keep it pleasant and shallow, in order to please the grandparents who want everyone to be together and happy. Are we really that unbearable? Could it be that they feel uncomfortable and lash out in anger when they are forced to reconsider their own pursuit of materialism? Could it be that I am reading too much into the whole thing?

Here's the article:
Home-schoolers threaten our cultural comfort

Wouldn’t you just love to wipe that serene look right off her smug face? Is it any wonder we hate her so?

Another reason...

...to homeschool. The author of this article hits on a very good point and gives some good suggestions.

Travel Flexibility: A Home School Dividend

I am sure that most folks homeschool primarily for the quality of the education, so I wouldn't say this is a real reason to homeschool, but it is definitely a nice "perk". In addition to the thinner crowds when school is in session, I find it very easy to take time off of work whenever I want. Not just week-long vacations, but random long weekends. All my coworkers wanted off for Spring Break, but it didn't matter to me. Not only was it a nice quiet week in the office with less chatter and demands, but we were just about the only people at the state park where we camped the week before Mothers Day.

Just in case anyone out there needed a little "incentive" to take the plunge, or was growing frustrated and needed a little reminder of some of the benefits we enjoy.