A year later

It had been months of anticipation, agony, disbelief.... waiting. And then it happened on a Monday afternoon one year ago today. We went from being a married couple to being a family, well, almost. We met our children for the first time.

No, not like most people meet their children, in a hospital room filled with loved ones after hours of breathing and pushing... no we went over to their foster mother's home with our social worker, after lunch at a burger joint on the corner. Nothing goes better with a nervous stomach than a cheese burger and fries.

There's really not much to the story other than we met them, played with them for about an hour in their home and then it was time to leave them and return the following day. But that is not why I'm writing the blog today, to recount that story, it is touch on who and what they are today a year later.

THEY ARE OUR CHILDREN. Their mannerisms are more like ours than anyone else, they talk the way we do, and their memories seem to begin with us. Take for instance this morning, I was talking to them about that day... they don't remember it... but they remember the rest of that week... it is as if they always knew us, there was just a time delay in when they got to live with us.

But they aren't the only ones who have changed, my husband and I are different as well... how could we not? Here we were a green couple by most standards, three and half years of marriage at the time and bam 3 little boys. Interesting way to get educated so to speak. Take for instance my night stand, before the boys it was littered with Catholic theology books and PCOS health books, PCOS diet books, blah blah blah. Now, raising Catholic children, homeschooling, being a good wife and mother and the list goes on.

Instead of my husband calling my cell phone to ask how work is going, or will I be staying late, it is to ask how the kids are and if there is anything he can do (i.e. bring home dinner, talk to the misbehaving one over the phone, or just to say what a good job I'm doing). Our emails before the kids went something to the effect of being tired of work, had a busy day, things are going great, or unhappy customers... Now, my spare moments for email are usually when the kids are napping and in between loads of laundry. The messages have the same underlying message except my 'customers' are now my children, and busy days aren't selling books or answering phones, it is house work, homeschooling, and play time.

They've all grown now, inches and inches. Their vocabulary really is incredible considering where it started. Motor skills, manners, and over all personalities have grown and matured. To look at pictures of that first week one year ago it is hard to recognize our children in those little faces. And they aren't the only ones how have grown, what once felt like a missing piece to our marriage and life is now over flowing with the sounds of three amazing boys!

To Imfiminedy and beyon!

No, that title isn't misspelled, that is exactly how Snookie says it. It is the cutest thing as he 'flies' through the air stamping out injustice throughout the galaxy. This is his newest saying, and of course most of the time I try to help him learn the right way to say it... as the mom that is what we are supposed to do... right?!

It wasn't long ago that helicopter plagued him... it came out - hecicoper. And it used to crack me up, well, as most things go he now has learned the proper way to say it. Oh, the dark day I heard him say it right. I mean I was excited, but a part of me was so sad because it means that my little guy is growing up.

And so it will come to pass that a saying made famous by Buzz Lightyear will be uttered correctly from my Snookie.

Ambulance... ER...

While they were very unpleasant I am going to recap the events that unfolded yesterday afternoon!

It was about 3:30 and I went into the boys room to get them up from nap time. After I fussed at Bubba for messing around in bed during nap time, I went to help Bobcat get down from the top bunk. The drill is that he comes to the edge of the bunk, I put my hands up under his arm pit and throws his legs over the head board and I set him down. Well, he came over the top and for whatever reason things didn't go smoothly... and before I know it I have lost control of his body and he came crashing down on to his left temple and down to his shoulder and lay in a heap on the floor. HE WAS UNCONSCIOUS. I started freaking out (as any mother, I think, would do). Intuitively I know better than to pick up a person who is unconscious who just sustained a fall that had a 'head/neck hitting ground' action... but this was my child, and I'm a mommy so the first thing I did was scoop him up and try to get him to wake up. It took a few seconds but he gasped for air, but he wasn't awake. I brought him to the living room, holding him so close to me, but he still wouldn't wake up... so I did the only thing I could think of... and of course the ONE thing you are supposed to do... I CALLED 911!

(Note to self: For no reason miss the CPR class at Angela's)

The man on the other end of the phone was so nice, and talked me through what I was supposed to do (I will write for anyone out there who might read this, and remember it if it ever happens to you). I was told to lay him out and make sure his airway is open (lay him flat and put my hand under his neck so that his head is tilted back just a little). And then I had to wait... for the firemen and ambulance to arrive.

That was the longest 10 minutes of my life... right before they all arrived, Bobcat finally woke up (he had been out this whole time, the only thing he was doing was wimpering but he couldn't wake up). He of course was scared, and his head (I'm sure) was throbbing uncontrollably... and he just wouldn't lay still (like the guy on the phone said that I needed to keep him real still... and for crying out loud he wouldn't be still).

During the wait for the EMT's and everyone to show up, the man from 911 stayed on the phone with me keeping me calm (and he did a really good job)... and my other two were being very helpful... they actually listened to me as I barked commands at them (telling to go potty and then stay in the gameroom). Once the firemen arrived and ambulance my neighbor (who saw the commotion outside) came over and scooped my little ones up and took them to her house for same keeping (THANK YOU SHANNON!!!!). I don't know exactly what I thought that they (emergency services) would do, but they arrived and put neck braces on him, head gear, back braces, and then he was attached to a back board... and before I knew it we were in an ambulance about to go to Cooks.

Thankfully the firemen closed the front door, then reminded me that I should lock the door, grab my purse.... that kind of thing (I'm sure they deal with bewildered moms all the time).

Once at Cooks, X-rays were taken and finally the all clear, neck was checked, eyes, chest... all that stuff... and he checked completely fine. He just has a nasty bruise on his temple and a headache that will last a few days. Now his mom on the other hand, well, let's just say that I should have asked for a sedative or something... but even I'm starting to feel better some 16 hours later!

Sun screen

Let me set the mood...

The oldest had been fighting with the youngest all day, and it finally culminated with him hitting the youngest (nothing serious... just sibling stuff). Having had enough, my last resort was that he was to spend ALONE time in his room and not playing with his brothers.

After being in his room for a while, it was time for him to come out and eat dinner.

When I entered the room, I was hit with the distinct smell of sun screen... and to my amazement I found the white lotion every where. IT was all over him, face, arms, legs, CLOTHES... all over the carpet... all over the beds, sheets, pillows... all over the stuffed animals on the dresser...

WHY WHY WHY WHY...

I guess he showed us. I can't even imagine what is on the horizon for us... with two younger boys...

And the sad part, the punishment was more for the lying than for the hitting... and ask me what happened this morning... ah yes, more lying!

Little boys...

Death of a rug... the car rug!

Well, we had a short service which on consisted of "do you know what Mommy has to do with the rug guys distroyed?"

Boys: "Fro it way"

Mommy: "yes"

Into the garage we all march... to watch as it descends into the garbage.

Re-entry into the house, and continued back orginal play areas... there were tears, but it was for the best. It was time to put it out of its misery.

Little Bobcat

What's a soul?.... Bobcat age four!

That ole' Matzah feelin'

While the boys ate their lunch today I whipped up a matzah dough. That's right matzah. It was pretty exciting actually. Tonight we are going to a seder meal. Several other families have been doing this for years, and this is our first invite to one. Every family brings a traditional dish for the seder gathering, and also a 'normal' potluck dish. We were given the task of matzah with the sidenote that we could buy it from the store premade... what premade... no way baby, I went online and found a recipe and set out to make it myself. While thumbing thru other traditional dishes I also found one for a spinach casserole, and I thought to myself "myself we should make our potluck traditional as well, right?!"

Back to making the matzah... as I stood there rolling out my dough, heating my stone, and preparing to bake I had visions of Mother Mary dancing thru my head. How this was a regular thing for her to do... putting baby Jesus down for a nap, or setting him near her to play while she cooked. What a glorious sight that must have been, her in her apron preparing supper for Jesus and Joseph. It gave me that feeling of accomplishment, that I was part of that long standing tradition (which I am, but hardly ever feel that type of connection). The unlevened bread, mana from heaven, Christ's true flesh... all the symbolism and reality gave me goose bumps just to think about.

When my first round of matzah came out of the oven I gave each of the boys a piece to sample... and they regailed me with high praises. I tasted it as well... very crackery (which I knew it would be), and not half bad considering the few ingredients used. As I gave it to my children I thought of how Mary would give it to Christ, then how she GAVE US Christ starting at the wedding feast at Cana. Not that I could ever truly feel her pain or joy, but I caught a glimpse into her heart... the swords piercing her heart, the deep and eternal love, and the complete fiat to God's call in the redemption of mankind. Feeling that same fiat accepting the boys into our lives, loving them so completely without even knowing them, wanting to protect them even though we could not protect them from their past.... as she could not protect HIM from his future. All this from bread... all this for the reality of our Faith...