The Stations as a mother, and other Lenten thoughts...

Over at Creative Minority Report is this great post from a guest poster... and what a wonderful post it is. Her words are my thoughts, and my agony as a mother. I can remember the first time I heard a priest talk about Mary's heart pleading and the Heavenly Father answering her prayers.  Christ didn't NEED Simon, Christ didn't NEED Veronica... Mary did, we DO.

I needed to read this post this morning.  Life is tough.  Families are made up of people... sinners, some trying and some not.  Suffering is just part of it.  Are you choosing to sin?  Are the sins of others causing your suffering.  What are you doing with it?  Are you offering it up?  Are you holding on to it to let it fester and work against you?  Have you chosen to repent, or live in denial?

The truth is, you know the answer within you.  Walk the Stations if you have the least bit of doubt.

It's hard to walk the Stations, it's supposed to be hard.  It is supposed to be reflective... it's supposed to be a visual reminder of what we are uniting our sufferings too.  It's what HE came for, and we are who HE came for, and that is what HE had to do for us!  It's the heart of our faith.  He SUFFERED and DIED for us... so that we might LIVE!

That last part, might live... I didn't really get that until I was a grown up and really came to grips with the reality of sin... every sin is DEATH, a little bit of death to your soul... yes He died for us, but are we really choosing LIFE, the life He died to give us?  Or are we a slave to sin, hoping that He will look the other way at the end of days...

Being a grown up is tough, sometimes it really isn't a whole heap of FUN, and easy is rarely part of the package.  It's about the choices we make.  It can feel simple to make the immediate gratification choice, but in the long run is that really the decision that will allow your soul to be free and alive in Christ?

As people of God, we must take the long view... the big picture if you will!  Our reward is not here, and it's not now... for our treasure awaits us in heaven, and our happiness is in Christ!

 

Seriously...

I know you know the phrase, no good deed goes unpunished... boy has today felt like that. While trying to make a cheesecake, I had pressed in my graham cracker crust and was going to pick it up (the spring form pan) and move it over by the stove, when I picked it up the bottom of the pan fell out and out went the crust all over the floor... that's the kind of day it has been!

Thankfully I had enough ingredients to redo the entire crust, but by the time I cleaned it all up and set to making a new one... well tic toc goes the clock! And to show you just how befuddled I was... usually when I cook, I'm a clean as you go kind of gal, because I rather dislike all the clean up at the end...

Oh well, dinner won't have a lot of clean up so I suppose I will survive :-)...

Okay on to better things, our lovely beds are a bloomin!  Even the camillia which usually is all done by the start of March has to decided to continue blooming!  She's a beaut!

 Next up are the long beds (I only got one good shot of the very front one, maybe later I will try to grab a better one of the one closest to the house) with irises, tulips and daffodils.  The daffodils are on their way out, while the tulips and irises are just making their appearances!

Happy Spring!

Not dead, yet!

I'm alive... we're all alive... but we've all been busy in one way or another! For me, I've been trying to get as much rest as possible to get over this nose pain. The boys are headlong into the final stretch of the school year (and we are all ready for the BEACH!!!). And Daddio, well, he has been busy running. Two weeks ago he competed and completed his first half-marathon! Wow, I can't say enough how totally impressed I am with his accomplishment! Not only did he complete it, he ran it really WELL (keeping a 10 min pace, he's awesome)!

In the coming weeks I hope to have some time to type out my thoughts and progress of planning Bobcat's upcoming 7th grade year.  I know, I'm fairly shocked as well.  Actually, I really try not to think about it because I just don't feel prepared and like any homeschooling parent I wonder how ready he is!

 

The worst is over and I'm headlong into recovery. At least that is what the doctor told me yesterday as he clipped the stitched and pulled out the splints!

Okay, going into this surgery everyone told me it was no big deal... I would be up and about in no time, feelin fine.  I really thought this because typically I bounce back pretty quick, I rarely let anything slow me down!  This surgery has been different.

To give you a brief run down on the gist of it... here goes:

I went to the hospital on the 6th.  Naturally my blood pressure was a little high, I get a little edgy!  The intake nurse was kind enough to blow out two veins on my left arm and not able to start an IV (nearly two weeks later that arm is still black and blue... nice).  Then she proceeded to tell me that "this is day surgery so YOU need to wake up, don't curl up in a ball and pretend you are still asleep, WAKE UP and LEAVE!"  Nice bedside manner, right?!  Some waiting, then say adios to Daddio and taken to the holding pen.  This is where the anesthesia team gets ya goin!  Thankfully the nurses here where able to get the IV in on the first go!  Oh and they put this sweet patch behind my ear and for the first time in 32 years I did not immediately get sick upon waking up! YEAH!!

Enter drugs... sleepy... don't even remember them rolling the bed beyond the doors!

I remember waking up post-op, and looking toward the end of the bed to a nurse standing there doing paperwork.  In a very nice voice she tells to me to close my eyes and rest, that I was going to be in that spot for another 45-60 minutes and there was no need to wake up.  WHAT?  What a relief!  So I closed me eyes... from time to time they would flutter open, and I could make out the same nurse standing there... but I would close them again... who knows how long (well, Daddio does I guess), I was in a private room.  The oxygen mask had been taken off, but the blow up leg thingy-ies were still inflating and deflating (those were kind of weird but kind of massagy too).  I had a new nurse at this point and she brought me water and crackers... and Daddio!  Boy was I glad to see him...

Surprising, all of the nurses that I came in contact with post-op were not trying to shuffle me out of the door as I thought would happen based on the foreboding comments of the intake nurse.  Praise GOD!  They were kind, and gentle... and one in particular was so caring during that quite humbling experience of redressing before you leave!

The car ride home was pretty painful, we were in Daddio's little Mazda... I could feel every crack in the pavement as we drove home... thankfully I was still really sleepy and just closed me eyes and tried to sleep.

What does it feel like... like you've been punched in the face.  Since that day all the way to this day... that's what it feels like.  Pain meds help, but I could still feel it.  My eyes even hurt... it was just weird.  Unfortunately on top of all of it, I was having a reaction to the pain meds and the anti-biotic and had to take loads of benadryl  to keep the reactions manageable.  I slept a lot, which was nice.

Fast forward a week and half or so...

Yesterday I went in and had the splints removed... wow (not a real pleasant experience but no one cried or puked so I would say it was successful)... air going into both sides of my nose, strange!  I can't really smell yet.  Every now and again I pick up a little bit of a scent... but not everything is back up and functioning yet.  I'm not allowed to blow my nose for 6 weeks (but I can sniff, which is annoying)... there are still a bunch of dissolving stitches in there they don't want messed up.  I can't take a bath for another 3 weeks (showers only for some reason).  No lifting for 4 weeks, no stooping for another 2 weeks...  weird stuff like that.  I can finally get my contacts in without my eyes feeling weird, but my nose hurts too much to wear glasses yet.  Everything is itchy in there... my cheeks (well the sinus cavities) are still sort of numbish, as well as the roof of my mouth feeling a little strange and sore.  My front lip doesn't work very well, so straws are still my best friend for drinking... and yawning... oh good heavens, not a great idea!  So it would seem that I have another 4 weeks at least of things not feeling or working quite right, and I guess that is what has thrown me.  I really didn't expect more than a few days of not feeling great, and then being the healthy person I was before the last sinus infection started.

End rambling now :-)

Well, I've been sitting up for a while now, and am starting to feel a lot of unwanted throbbing... so back to recline I go!

 

Cheesey Souffle

My first souffle!  Of course, I was make a large batch and really didn't know how full to fill the little ramekins (she uses larger ones on her recipe, which I didn't notice until after I began mixing everything)... they did rise to the top, but soon after settled in!  They were so cute... so puffy... so TASTY!  I highly recommend this recipe for Parmesan Cheese Souffle!

The nose knows

Well, the nose is supposed to know... unfortunately mine never got the memo. What memo?  You know, the memo about being normal and not always having a sinus infection and all that jazz... yeah we missed that one!  I've been fighting a nasty and frustrating sinus infection since September, which brought on bronchitis at times and fluid in the ears.  I've had a handful of okay days in there, but mostly really crappy days.  I've been to several appointments, tried several meds... one gave a little relief, while two caused me to have unpleasant reactions to say the least, oh then there was the shot with two steroids (not pleasant), a handful of nose sprays, the netti pot (sometimes 4-5 times a day, even with the threat of the dreaded brain bugs), tons of over the counter meds, allergy testing, CT scan, and finally a consult with an ENT (who stuck a camera down my nose, not one of my funnest moments).

The one phrase the allergist used to sum it up: "You have anatomical abnormalities that cause you to have recurrent and long term sinus infections!"  Yeah, I didn't need a medical degree to figure that one out either!  So off to the ENT we went because that was really the only other person that could do anything about my situation.  As it turns out surgery is the way to fix my anatomical abnormalities... oh JOY!

In a few weeks I will go under the knife and wake up to a straightened septum and smaller something or others that need to be smaller (thanks to a laser), and 10 days after that I will be breathing a lot better! Yeah!

Thangs and Stuff

Thangs and stuff, that is how Snooker will answer the question, "What have you been up to, today?"... and that, my friends, is what I've been up to all these weeks of not posting.  Life has been busy this school year.  Starting in September I began teaching twice a month at our homeschool co-op.  I enjoy it for the most part, but it is somewhat time consuming on my brain.  I'm working with 12 students (including Snooker and Bubba)... 6 boys and 6 girls, who for the most part have never picked up a needle.  So coming up with the projects, and working out the directions, at times has been a real brain puzzler.

Our own school year has been a little rocky.  In some ways I wish I could say the problems are all new, but in all honesty, it's the same old problems just at a slightly higher level.  I'm sure the even more seasoned homeschoolers out there will chuckle at that statement.  I mean, for real, what was I expecting... that somehow their personalities would change and suddenly what they hated before they would love and that they would find new things to complain about... ha ha ha... not a chance.  Same old, same old!  Thankfully Daddio has once again stepped in and taken over the forever old reluctance in the math department!  I can't even begin to imagine our homeschool running without his help and support... I would be in the loony bin FOR SURE without him (or in a quiet house all day because they are away at school, hmmmm don't tempt me :-)!

So schooling has been stressful... what could be the only other thang that could be more stressful that that?  Obedience of course!  The last few months have been fraught with bizarre and frustrating behavior.  In all honesty, I have no idea where most of it has come from.  Although, Daddio reminds me regularly not to ask WHY, because there is no good answer... they are boys and that's what they do... we must just try to find ways to persuade them not to do really stupid things.  Yeah, that's work, NOT!  How bizarre you might ask?!  Well, 3am pantry raids, picking up pre-chewed gum off the street and putting in their own mouth, getting into his allergy pills and taking far too many, deciding not to get up to use the restroom (not a fun one to find out about), eating Nutella with their hands hidden in the corner of their room, stashing large sums of half eaten granola bars in their book case and then the pillow case (Daisy the dog found those for me, some need bomb smelling dogs... we have a food stash finding dog!)... the list goes on and on really!

Let's see what else has been keeping me busy... oh yeah, the holidays and my business.  Turns out if you have a shop on Etsy and products people want to give as gifts you will do quite nicely for yourself!  It is a lot of fun having a shop and creating products, but it has also been very time consuming.  Along with the sewing for my shop, we decided that all of the extended family gifts would be hand made (my hands would be doing all the making).  So between all the custom orders for the shop, and tons of gifts for the family, I WAS BUSY!  I can honestly say that I'm glad that is done!  Now that I know how it works, I will be far better prepared for it!  On a side note, while it is so exciting to see my goods here in the continental US, I've also had sales in London and Australia!  Boy, I was super pumped going to PO to ship those!

So that's it in a nut shell.